The Tale of King George and Queen Cynthia

May 14, 2009 in Big, fat, liar...Casey Anthony, The Tales of King George and Queen Cynthia
Tags: Casey Anthony, Cindy Anthony, George Anthony, Jose Baez, MotherClucker's Blog, Tale of King George

…Or as I like to call it Queen Cynthia’s Fairy Tale

Once upon a time there lived a Prince by the name of George. Prince George of Hopespring, as in “hope springs eternal”. His parents had high hopes for George, but he never could assert himself very well. When it came time for George to marry and take over the kingdom, there was great strife. There was not a maiden in the kingdom who would marry him. The mere mention of his name, to the ladies in waiting, sent profuse giggles throughout the kingdom. The maidens would say things like “Are you serious? Not witless George? Goober George from Hopespring? I shan’t marry a man who can’t even sharpen his own sword without some assistance in the matter!” Needless to say, they had to look elsewhere for George’s bride. They searched high and low until finally a bride was found. Princess Cynthia of Denial, whose kingdoms motto was “Come live in Denial!” . The entire kingdom of Hopespring was present on the day of the joyous union. Throughout the kingdom people were chanting “Hopespring’s eternal, long live Denial!” So began the life of King George and Queen Cynthia. Soon after their union, they had a daughter, Princess Casey, and boy, was she a handful. She grew up to become the biggest common slut in the kingdom. She loved hanging out in the taverns, and pulling her skirt up over her head for pints of ale. King George and Queen Cynthia were upset, but told themselves that it was “just a phase, she’ll grow out of it”. Not surprisingly, Princess Casey got with child. All the men at the tavern said that it wasn’t their kid. Later on, King George and Queen Cynthia would discover that the father of the child was a one night stand, and Princess Casey couldn’t even remember his name. The Princess did keep a papyrus of his obituary, though. It seems the father of the child had died in a horrible jousting event in Neverwas, pronounced Never Vas, it’s a German name.  So sad. The Princess did not like being pregnant, since it really cramped her style. She could not wait to get back out to the taverns and pull her skirt over her head, roll out with the barrels, and on the barrels…and in the barrels…and around the barrels, you get my drift? When the baby was 2 years old, The Princess decided that she would just start taking her to the taverns with her. The bar wench at Ye Olde Crotch and Crab said that she would help watch the baby. To avoid Queen Cynthia’s constant nagging, Princess Casey just told her mother that she was going to Bible Study. King George and Queen Cynthia bragged to the entire kingdom about Princess Casey being such a holy, good, sweet, kind, smiling, caring mother. That was, until, Princess Casey disappeared, and never returned home. King George was very upset, because the wheels on the horse and cart she was driving needed rotating and balanced. Queen Cynthia set out to find her daughter and grandbaby, but it was to no avail. Thirty days later, they received a letter from Gargamel’s Horse Cart Towing Company. The letter said that their horse and cart had been towed, and they could pick it up for the price of 6 goats, 2 sheep, 1 horse, and barrel of their finest ale. King George was furious and went in person to retrieve the horse and cart. Queen Cynthia went in search of her prodigal daughter. Upon reaching Gargamel’s Towing, King George said “this is rock path robbery!”, and paid Gargamel.”Where’s my cart? You beast!”, said King George, “Just wait until my wife hears about this! Then you’ll be in trouble!” The horse and cart were parked way out in a field. “Oh kind King!”, said Gargamel, “we had to park your horse and cart far away, for it smells frightful!”

King George approached the horse and cart and noticed a rotten cabbage in the cart. The tow man said he’d only smelled a smell like that one other time, and it was the cart they used to haul the dead. “Nonsense!”, said the King, “it is simply a rotten cabbage!”

….TO BE CONTINUED