Bi***ing about taxes…


Today, I was pondering the way of the government, and taxes. I am starting to really get irritated with the idea that Mr. O knows what’s best for me, more so than I do. With that being said, I shall elaborate on the recent hike in taxes on cigarettes. I realize cigarettes are bad for you, but it is still a personal choice. Does Mr. O really want people to quit smoking? Then why not just make it against the law to purchase them? Well, he’s not going to do that. Why? You ask. Well it’s simple. He makes too much money in TAXES from it. To make a long story short, I made a list of things that are bad for you that I think should be taxed. I believe Mr. O could make a ton of money by taxing these things, and maybe tax something different to make up for the purchase price of his must have Portuguese water dog. So here ya go, Mr. O…

McDonald’s French Fry Tax – These things are terrible for you, but people can’t seem to get enough of them. Tax it!

Text Messaging Tax or TMT, as I like to call it – There is nothing more dangerous than a 17 year old driving down the road, while engaging in this so called practice. There should be a tax on text messaging. Teens are addicted to it! Mr. O could make a fortune.

StarBucks Coffee Tax – What could be worse for your heart than slamming down a Starbucks Coffee with a double shot of espresso and extra cream. You go from barely breathing to blazing fast within seconds. This is bad for you. It should be taxed. End of story.

Bumping Loud Stereo Tax – When you purchase radio accessories designed to increase the decibel level of your car stereo, then you must fill out a form, and pay a huge tax on your purchase. This really isn’t dangerous to your health, but it could annoy someone to the point of donning camouflage, buying a paintball gun, and lying in their yard waiting for a certain car to drive by their house. That’s when it becomes dangerous to someone’s health.

Thievery Tax – You steal, you get caught, you pay a tax! LOL!

Kentucky Fried Chicken Tax – See above, McDonald’s French Fry Tax.

Ice Cream Tax – Delicious, cold, full of artery clogging cream, and massively consumed! Tax it! It is terrible for you, but oh…so…delicious!

Carbonated Beverage Tax – There’s already talk of this by Mr. O. Soda pop, coke, whatever you prefer to call it, is bad for you. People love it, and can’t live without it! New slogan: “Have a Coke and a Tax!” LOL!

These are just a few, but I’m getting tired now…what do you think?


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