Posted: December 28, 2008 | Author: motherclucker | Filed under: The Hen House | Tags: Funny stories, Life |
My father had a small stroke a few years ago. It didn’t affect his speech, but he did get temporary amnesia when it happened. He was doing yard work one day, and suddenly didn’t know where he was, or what he was doing. He knocked on our front door and asked where he was, like we were perfect strangers. At first, we thought he was just being funny, then we realized it was much more serious when I said “daddy, you are so funny!” He gave me a look of horror and said “who are you? Do I know you?” I kind of wondered what daddy thought at that moment, with me being a stranger to him. I wonder if he thought I was the crazy one? I think he did. If it hadn’t been for the fact that we had to rush him to the hospital immediately, I would have invited him in for some iced tea, and then chatted his ears off about nothing at all, just for fun…LOL! To make a long story short, my father is really funny, and since the stroke, he has become a rather comic genius to me. We have conversations such as this…
Daddy: What is that box doing by the door?
Me: Which box? There are two. The small box or the bigger box?
Daddy: What box are you talking about?
Me: I wasn’t talking about the box, you were.
Daddy: I know, what is in that box sitting by the door?
Me: I don’t know, mom put them there.
Daddy: You didn’t answer my question.
Me: Yes, I did. You asked me about the box by the door, and I told you the answer. I don’t know.
Daddy: What box?
This is the way our conversations go on a regular basis. It is like a constant game of “Who’s on First?” I try to keep up with all the funny things he says like “now there’s a woman who would run through a field of bulls, wearing a jersey cow suit, just to drop her kid off on the other side.” He said that about Casey Anthony. He also said “boy, she’s one of those women who would rather suck venom from a rattlesnakes lips, than tend to her kid.” He told my middle sister the other day that the back of her head looked “like a stump full of daddy long legs”, and I tried not to laugh, but I couldn’t help myself, because her hair did look like that way. LOL! His latest statement, and the reason for this blog, came the day after Christmas. We were sitting in the living room, when my father turns to me and says “Boy, I sure am glad Christmas is over, I’m ready for Halloween!” I’m not sure why he skipped all the other holidays in between. And the funny thing is, my father has always hated Halloween. It just makes me wonder….hmmmmm. LOL!
Posted: December 13, 2008 | Author: motherclucker | Filed under: The Hen House | Tags: Chattanooga Tn, I Remember, Life, Unemployment |
It’s that lovely time of year when most of us remember the past, worry about the present, and flinch about the future. Or, at least, that’s what I do. The current state of affairs, in the job market, are getting downright frightening. I am a single mother, who looks after her growing older and more senile by the day parents, and I wonder exactly what in the hell I’m gonna do. I am getting really worried about what the future holds for my little one. Our new President does not help ease my fears. I think that the word politician should just be changed to corruption and vice a versa. That way when we watch the news about our economy swirling down the toilet, unemployment skyrocketing, and automotive company bailouts, we can just say “Hey, look at all those political corruptions on TV! Wow, they sure do talk alot about nothing! He was involved in what? Well it figures…” Christmas is on it’s way, and I remember believing in Santa Claus. I have had to look at the world through my 3 year old’s eyes, and it has humbled me quite a bit. I wish that there were not so many scary people in the world. I remember scary people and things when I was a child, but I don’t remember this many. I remember riding my bike to the bread store without fear of being kidnapped and murdered. I remember staying outside way after dark and running through woods all day and my mother knew I was safe. I remember chasing down the ice cream truck, drinking slushies, and eating ice cream without fear of being poisoned, kidnapped, or murdered. I can’t let my daughter play in a park without standing right beside her. I can’t let her play in her own yard without being outside with her. I can’t let go of her hand when we are out in public. I have to teach her not to smile or talk to strangers because it could be to her own detriment. Yeah, this world is definitely headed in some very wrong direction. I’ll have to tell my little girl one day that it wasn’t always like this….and then tell her all I remember.
